Well, well, well, disbelievers around the Internet who have accused us of making up spoilers for hits and using the word “sources” in place of “we made this up but just trust us because we have a serious mental disorder,” NOW WE HAVE DONE IT! We’ve gotten the scoop of all scoops. The thing that will drive trillions of hits to this site. It will make our mothers and fathers finally proud and not all judgmental like when we didn’t make the football team when there was no try-out and even Ricky the armless quarterback made the team; nor like the time Cindy, who posted a Craigslist ad for “anyone please anyone I don’t care who, take me to the prom” laughed when we asked her. No, this is nothing like that. This is 100%, Mike Zeroh / StarWarsNewsNet level believable! Hang onto your groin areas because we’re about to rock your world!
Our most legitimate source of sources has informed us that Leia’s main plot has her try to survive an assassination attempt by Jabba’s frog dog, Buboicullaar! This adorably hideous frog dog is out to get revenge on Leia for the death of its master. Bubo will be a MAJOR character in the movie and likely get his own spin-off that will be announced May the 4th, or at San Diego Comic Con, or at D23, or Force Friday, or during the credits for “The Last Jedi” or next year, or some day. Hell, it could be in 2030 but whenever it happens, or even if Lucasfilm announces ANY MOVIE being in the works, we plan on taking credit for it somehow via an essay of run-on sentences.
Stay tuned for more super secret and sourced info!