Sources are telling us the 4K Complete Edition of all 7 saga movies will be coming out this November and it will look amazing! Each movie will arrive on 200 tapes in a crate the size of an Ewok torture chamber. The entire collection of 1400 tapes and 7 crates will have a suggested retail price of $6999.
In a secret phone conversation of Lucasfilm employees practicing for the announcement, our high-tech tapping software picked up the following: “Our fans have been begging for the untouched original cut of the movies and we’re giving it to them exactly as they always wanted, on the original VHS format they fell in love with as children,” said Lucasfilm president and legendary producer Kathleen Kennedy. Canon Wrangler Pablo Hidalgo also piped in. “It’s the original cut of the movies before they were edited. There are no special effects. No music. Just lots and lots of blue-screen. This should, once and for all, end the ‘everything was shot on sets in the originals’ argument and shock millions of asshats who think the prequels were all CGI.” Hidalgo was then admonished by Kennedy and told not call the fans asshats in public. They then all laughed and murmured something like “obviously they are.”
Stay tuned and come back for more amazing leaks!